I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
