your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
