I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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