It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
