if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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