perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
