where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
