she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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