The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
