Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Randomize
