Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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