It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
How's work?
Spinning.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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