You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
