Having a random hookup so left but love u
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
