She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
