The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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