Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
