you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
