my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You ruined the universe
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
