yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
