Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
