You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
