hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
