mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
