Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
literally had 100 drinks last night.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
