and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
