I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
