I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
