What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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