Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
