with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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