32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Floor bacon is actually really good
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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