No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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