weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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