People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
