i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
where does the pee come out of this thing
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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