I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
