I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
