we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
