when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
