FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
