So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we're making bets on your personal life
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
