My brain says no but my pants say off.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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