Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
