why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
