I love having hate sex.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
