I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
