I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
