i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
no you cant smoke seaweed
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
