I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
