Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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