We need to rekindle our bromance
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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