I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
