I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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